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I can’t be an artist. I criticize myself way too much.
I paint something to only paint over it later. I nitpick and over analyze every brush stroke, every color combination, etc. to the point that I end up hating a piece… I end up putting hours into something… maybe even days… then I just brush over it in white; ending up right where I started. I become ashamed of my work and throw it away or leave it in the garage for it to never be seen.
But tonight I created something for someone. [ NOTE: If I’ve ever made you something from my own hands, it means I really care about you. ] I put a lot of thought into it and struggled to get things just right. I look at it sitting on the floor and see things that bother me… maybe that letter could be a little bolder… or maybe the spacing could be better… but I’m actually proud of this. I like it for the most part.
It’s a real struggle for me to DO art these days because of my pickiness and self-criticism. I hope the recipient can appreciate it for more than the time and work.
